my cracked polystyrene world

gemana klo bee disana ternyata dijodohin?

that wud suck.

[kle]

monday, november 14, 2005
in the evening mom got us all worried.
she kept talking as if she was gonna die.
she’s been sick for some time,
but she hadn’t seen her internist coz he was on a leave.
earlier that night one of my stupid cousins came over
and he talked about his wife
[who happened to be sick too – kidney failure].
he talked about how scary the treatment was
and how much money they had to spend for it.
and iono what other crap he talked about…
after he went my started to think about stuff and stuff.
“i don’t wanna be a burden of the family,”
“we don’t have money to pay for hospital and treatment,”
“you [my dad] and anggie [my sist] must get along well,”
and stuff and stuff.
she cudn’t get out of bed.
she refused to go to the doctor.
she didn’t wanna eat.
she was fasting because she wanted to take blood test the next day.
no one could sleep that night.
dad and i kept praying.
nothing else we could do.

in the middle of the night bee texted me,
saying that his dad got another heart attack.
two out of three main arteries were blocked [or sumtin like that]
he was taken to the icu.
bee’s parents live in a different city, on another island.
bee was gonna fly there the next day.

tuesday, november 15, 2005
in the morning i took mom to the hospital.
she went to the lab to get her blood checked.
then we went to the internist.
the stupid doctor didn’t tell us what was wrong with my mom.
he merely gave her some medicine and told her to come back to see what it does to her.
he didn’t even tell us what he thought it could’ve been.
he gave a hint that it could be because of the high dose of diabetic medicine that mom is on.

at noon bee texted me this:

10:53..my true fighter
rested in peace..
Mohon doanya ya..

of course bee…
i will pray for your dad.
also for your mom
and you.

[kle]

[kle]

i’ve been neglecting them lately. aside from the fact that work’s off for about a week so i can’t get online on daily basis… i don’t find weblogging as exciting as it used to be. maybe it’s just a phase. i should return to my normalself soon. back on the net all day long. messing with melo, fs weblog, yahoo 360 thingy and other shit. but for now… i’ma spend more time breathing and sleeping. so,…

[kle]