waaah… sudah lama sekali tidak menulis disini ^_^
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005*sighs* now where do i start?
um… akhir-akhir ini kehidupan gue lumayan rumit. banyak rahasia, banyak susah-seneng, banyak benturan dan dalam beberapa kasus gue merasa sedikit terjebak. terjebak dalam arti sulit ngambil keputusan karena apapun yang gue pilih bisa nyakitin orang. ada saat dimana gue pengennya ga peduli ma orang-orang. pengennya mikirin gue aja. well this is my life afterall,… tapi ga bisa gitu deh. they are the closest people in my life. whatever happens to them can affect me too. so… bisa dibilang gue ngalamin dilema. dilema atas sebuah hal yang seharusnya bisa berjalan dengan sederhana. hehehe… abstrak banget seh bahasan gue kali ini. okeh… gue bikin sedikit detil. walopun akan sulit karena ini cerita sebenernya panjang banget. but yeah… i’ma make it simple.
i got a boyfriend.
tapi proses untuk bisa sampe kesana ga simple. cocow ini dulu deket ama ita, yang notabene bestfriend gue. dan mereka punya hubungan yang cukup rumit dan gue ga punya hak untuk ngebahas itu disini. anyway, disaat hubungan itu merenggang gue ada di tengah-tengah mereka. entah sebagai jembatan atau sebagai wadah curhatan atau apalah namanya. but i was there. dan ternyata si cocow ngerasa ada feeling ke gue and he treated me… differently… specially. dan gue ga nolak itu. i mean… siapa sih cecew yang ga mau diperlakukan istimewa? well mungkin perlakuan itu ga seistimewa yang gue pikir… i mean he could be doing it to other girls too… but do i care about it??? nah =P so yeah… i probly led him on to think that i was attracted to him. but he was not completely wrong i mean… i didn’t dislike him. eh well, long story short… he asked if i wanted to be his gf and i asked for time to think and then i told ita that he asked and she said stuff stuff stuff… not like what i had in mind… and then she reavealed some facts about this guy as a consideration before i made any decision. and then things got out of control. he was pissed. she was pissed. some other people were pissed. and…
yeah, that’s the story of me and the process of getting my first bf. =P well i’ve always wanted a bf that comes with a story to tell. and that’s exactly what i got. i don’t think we can forget this story for a long time. i mean like a long long lo…ng time =D
yah pokonya gitu deh. ada senengnya tapi ada keselnya juga waktu bilang iya. dan yang pasti perasaan ‘like a thief’ masih ada. gue masih ngerasa kaya maling. ita dan bee sih sama-sama bilang mereka gada apa-apa tapi ampe sekarang gue lom bisa ngilangin rasa ini. i dunno when it will go away. or if it ever will.
gila banget deh. sebenernya kan kasusnya sederhana banget. ada cocow nembak gue. harusnya kan itu kal yang ga rumit dan cukup gue ama dia aja yang terlibat. but no… karena kehidupan gue kayanya dah mirip banget ama sinetron gitu deh. cuma gara-gara ada cocow nembak gue sampe terjadilah kehebohan di sekeliling gue =P hehehe… my life is like totaly weird. totally! sayangnya gue ga bisa sebebas-bebasnya udel gue untuk nulis disini. karena cerita lengkapnya melibatkan banyak orang dan gue akan melangkahi privasi mereka klo gue ceritain disini. and besides… my udel belongs to someone now *blushes*
on and ps: we have a song… "coz we’re living in a world of fools… breaking us down when they all should let us be…" tapi gue masih lom bisa nerusin sampe kalimat "i believe in you" coz then i won’t be honest… =)) he knows i still don’t trust him 100% but i’m working on it 
[kle] yang baru dapet pacar :">
